Piece by piece, the street was disappearing. There was a strange non-stopping puff of smoke that was making the whole world disappear. “We gotta get help, stat” said Mrs Robbins to her family. The family were having a party, and at midnight they heard on the news that the universe is going to vanish in less than 3 hours. The Robbins went to warn the rest of the neighbourhood. By only ten minutes, the Robbins house was gone.
They were running as fast as they could to go to Uncle Joe’s lab to try and get something to get rid of the vanishing smoke. Dogs were barking, kids were crying and parents were panicking. Then they got to the lab and screamed to Uncle Joe, “Hey! We need to get something out of your lab to get rid of the huge puff of smoke!” “Huh?” said Uncle Joe, putting up his hearing aid. “You need something to get people not to smoke?” “No! There is a huge puff of smoke making…..oh whatever!” They rummaged around the big cupboards to try and find something. Then the little girl Sally found a disappearing smoke potion. “I found it Mummy!” They all gathered around her like she had found some gold. “Oh No!” The smoke was appearing outside the window.
Then Sally’s 1 year old brother Max grabbed the bottle and had a sip. “No, Max!” cried Mrs Robbins. Luckily, Max did not disappear but it did make him have smoke coming out of his bottom! “Ew! Smells like a mixture between baby food and fire!” said Mrs Robbins. “What?! Fire? Fire! Fire!” yelled Uncle Joe. “Oh, he fainted” said Mr Robbins. The whole lab was a mess from everyone looking for the potion. “We will clean it up later” said Mrs Robbins. They all ran out spraying the potion into the air everywhere. “Woah! What happened to my lab?” yelled Uncle Joe, getting off the floor.
Luckily, everything went back to normal. “Ahhhh” said everyone, plopping onto the couch. Then the TV flashed on. “Breaking News! There is a non-stopping puff of wind making unknown buildings appear all over town!’
“To the lab! Said Sally…...
They were running as fast as they could to go to Uncle Joe’s lab to try and get something to get rid of the vanishing smoke. Dogs were barking, kids were crying and parents were panicking. Then they got to the lab and screamed to Uncle Joe, “Hey! We need to get something out of your lab to get rid of the huge puff of smoke!” “Huh?” said Uncle Joe, putting up his hearing aid. “You need something to get people not to smoke?” “No! There is a huge puff of smoke making…..oh whatever!” They rummaged around the big cupboards to try and find something. Then the little girl Sally found a disappearing smoke potion. “I found it Mummy!” They all gathered around her like she had found some gold. “Oh No!” The smoke was appearing outside the window.
Then Sally’s 1 year old brother Max grabbed the bottle and had a sip. “No, Max!” cried Mrs Robbins. Luckily, Max did not disappear but it did make him have smoke coming out of his bottom! “Ew! Smells like a mixture between baby food and fire!” said Mrs Robbins. “What?! Fire? Fire! Fire!” yelled Uncle Joe. “Oh, he fainted” said Mr Robbins. The whole lab was a mess from everyone looking for the potion. “We will clean it up later” said Mrs Robbins. They all ran out spraying the potion into the air everywhere. “Woah! What happened to my lab?” yelled Uncle Joe, getting off the floor.
Luckily, everything went back to normal. “Ahhhh” said everyone, plopping onto the couch. Then the TV flashed on. “Breaking News! There is a non-stopping puff of wind making unknown buildings appear all over town!’
“To the lab! Said Sally…...
Hi Poppy, can you see it is a little tricky to ready your writing? When you paste some wording into your blog use: Ctrl + Shift + v
ReplyDeleteThis will make it fit nicely on your blog and make it easy for people to read. If you need help with this, please email NJ or me. Thanks
Kia Ora Poppy I have changed the layout of your writing so I could read your story. As Susan said above when you are pasting your work use Ctrl + Shift + v
ReplyDeleteI like that some characters have interesting detail about them like Uncle Joe with his hearing aid. It would be great next time if you described more about the other characters, so I can picture them in my head. Keep up the creative writing!
Hi again Poppy - nice to be able to read your work now. (Thanks NJ.)
ReplyDeleteYou have some great sentences that capture moments in time. For example, the sentence: "Dogs were barking, kids were crying and parents were panicking." - I can picture what this would sound like and look like. I also really love the sentences about Uncle Joe not hearing what was being said - it made me laugh out loud!
Hmm ... it sounds like there may be a part 2 - I will check back to see if this appears on your blog.
Well done Poppy, you can be proud of this writing.